THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
