She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
my sisters under your porch take her home
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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