plz talk dirty to me
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Tornado booty call.. dedication
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
