is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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