Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
