theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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