You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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