White coat. Heels.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
