hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize