I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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