i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship