I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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