i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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