Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
