My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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