discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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