Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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