I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
