Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
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Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
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in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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