If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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