We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
