weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
