____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
BRING THE BAGELS
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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