i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
