I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
