Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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