Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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