got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
