Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
