He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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