on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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