Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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