so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize