It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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