so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
How external is "for external use only"?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
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