So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
