You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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