Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
