I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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