I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
