we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
