Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
