I'm so fucking centered right now
Porn is love you can see.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
