my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
