I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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