Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
