Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
