I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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