he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
