so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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