Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize