This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
