Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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