Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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