your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
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she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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