then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
honey bunches of taint.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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