he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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