I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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