R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
