I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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