babies were throwing up all over the place
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
