goodnight i made you a song goodbye
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
