Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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