Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
