im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
