Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
